Being Home

 

 

Being Home is wonderful, life without having to live out of a suitcase, having heating that works, spending time with people I haven’t seen properly for a while, makes me smile so much.  I was like a kid on Christmas morning bouncing round Church this morning.  I’ve thought lots about ‘home’ for the last few months and have a half formed post to finish about it.  But being home brings it own difficulty.  Church seems even more wounded than when I left.  This morning I spoke/prayed with someone who has just been diagonsed with cancer, someone whose brother has just died (literally in the last hour), someone whose rape case goes to court this week, I could go on, the brokenness is great.  So I’m not shocked but still very disappointed that our 36hrs of prayer isn’t even half signed up for, it just didn’t seem much for a Church of 200+ so we need to think about what we’ll do with it, maybe I’ll just not sleep for a few days.  Then someone asked if they could bring their satanist friend to the prayer course because they think it could be good for them (I agree whole heartly!).  I want to be delighted at the thought of a satanist on our prayer course but I’m not sure me and us as a Church can cope with it – I encouraged them to bring them anyway!  So spare prayers welcome.

Catch up

Especially for Ben, since he has appointed himself my editor, I thought you might like a catch up!

I’ve been away at college for the last month.  It’s not my favourite place, for lots of reasons, but it’s been a particularly hard visit.  College haven’t been at their best in terms of organisation (I’m trying to be kind), which has meant lots of trying to sort stuff out.  The teaching has been a bit sparce which has meant lots of times to catch up on reading, which I’ve enjoyed (even reading that is not college related, including Post McDonalisation and The Shack, both are worth a look at).  I’ve really struggled with the teaching.  Most of it I just haven’t followed, I live in hope that some of it will eventually make sense.  I’ve never thought of myself as clever but I hadn’t quite realised I was quite this slow, nevermind.  I keep reminding myself I’m over half way now.

Have had a week back working in the parish before going to do the last week at college.  The week has been a bit crazy busy but have enjoyed putting the final prep (for now at least) for the prayer course.  We’ve made 6 postcards that ask a question about prayer on one side and then the details on the other.  I’d forgotten how much I like playing with images and publicity stuff until I got my teeth back into this.

Liquid Mass

Spent yesterday at a complusory IME day on Liquid Mass.  It wasn’t rocket science, but good to be reminded to be creative.  We took part in a communion service in the afternoon, the reading was the beautitudes which was followed by a mediation with lots of images and stats about how broken the world is.  We were then asked to write a creedal statement connected to what we had seen and heard.  People seemed to like what I had written, I don’t think it is one of my best pieces of liturgy but people have asked for a copy so here it is.

We believe in a world full of goodness,

a world with life, joy and hope.

We believe in a world that is broken,

a world of hurt, pain and anger.

We believe that change is possible,

change that transforms, empoweres and is everlasting.

We believe in a God of transformation,

a God who longs to heal, create and renew.

A God who is Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

I think God is up to something. It’s a bit weird, but quite exciting. I can’t quite decide whether it’s with me or with this place, or hopefully both, but I can’t stop grinning!

Am loving this site www.wordle.net

This is just the stuff from the current page on the blog.

Hope

Every faith, being particular, has cracks and schisms. But the Anglican Church has held radically different people together more graciously and successfully over many hundred years than any other Western religion I know. I view it with wonder, awe, and admiration. Your ability to hold together in a world driving people apart is your gift to a landscape of hope.

The chief Rabbi (via Bishop Alan) at Lambeth last night.

Ordination

 

 

 

It’s almost been a month since my ordination as deacon at the Cathedral.  For those of you know me well, getting there has been the stuff of legendary sagas (perhaps that’s a little over the top, but it felt like it in the middle of it).  The retreat before the ordination was no different, whilst I was there, a kindly person in authority, decided to tell me why pioneer ministry was a waste of time.  This is not what you want to hear 2 days before you are ordained.  I nearly walked.  I seriously considered it, and I hadn’t done that for a while.  There were 3 things that made me not. 

The first was that I still felt called.  This is were I’ve felt called for a long time now, I’ve never felt capable but I’ve felt called and whatever anyone else says that doesn’t change.  The second was that someone else previous to the bad encounter had been very encouraging, he had noted all the rubbish that had happened and apologised (even though he wasn’t involved) promised he would try to prevent anymore unecessary rubbish coming my way.  I felt encouraged that someone understood what had happened and thought I still had something to do in the future in the diocese.  The third was more of a God moment (not that the others weren’t).  The night before the incident the reading at evening prayer had been from Ezekial about him having a forehead of flint.  This is a passage that Brett and others have given to me as really important.  In all the rubbish that has happen a lot of it has become personal and I’ve been unbeliveably hurt by it at times.  I don’t think this is over, there is more hurt to come, but I will continue to develop a forehead of flint so I only take on board stuff God wants me to and not the rubbish people throw for not good reasons.  When the passage was read I smiled to myself and wondered what was in store.  After the incident I held onto it.  The fact someone doesn’t get it, gives me a chance to show them what it is, it doesn’t mean they think I’m worthless.

The ordination service itself was traumatic and at times more like an episode of casualty!  But I got through.  The ordination itself felt special, when the Bishop had his hands on my head it felt like something lifted and it felt right.  I realise you may think I have gone mad but I’m just telling you what it felt like, I’m not offering a explanation.

It has felt more different than I thought, wandering round as a deacon.  I had first incident of clergy abuse in the post office – someone decided that since the Church ordains women that is why we have knife crime, and thought that needed to be shouted at me.  I’ve also done my first baptisms which felt really special.  I got to welcome into the Church, Poppy (3), Harry (6) and James (6 months), it was amazing I was very worried about it, but Brett as ever was lovely and prepared me really well, so I felt quite at home when it actually happened.  No doubt there will be more stories to tell.

Sweet Peas

These are the first bunch of sweet peas from my new garden. 

They smell wonderful!  Hopefully there will be plenty more of these and other goodies over the next few months.

Easter

Well my first Easter in Fatfield has been and gone.  I think I’ve enjoyed most of it!  I certainly missed the silence of all the vigils that I’d grown used to Gateshead.  I would have never said that I particulary enjoyed the vigils whilst I was there although I can pinpoint some specific significant moments that happened during them, but now they are gone I really missed them.

 Anyway thought I’d tell you a bit about what happened here and add some piccies.    One of the things I’ve most enjoyed was the chance to be creative with Brett.  It’s fun to work with people who have lots of ideas and have the opportunity to put them into practice.  Over Lent we’ve had a board up in a corner of Church were people could sit quietly and pray.  You could then cut a piece of paper in a colour and shape that reflected where you were and add it to the board in a place that was significant to you.   It’s great as it reflects where the community is without giving anything away.

 At the all age on Good Friday we took the theme of cups (stay with me), theologically we looked at ‘take this cup away from me’, with Jesus in the garden, but stretched it to fit with Race of Faith series and talked about being refreshed aswell.  For the intercessions we made a cross we used some broken mugs to make a cross.

Lots of people have commented on how beautiful it is.  It’s amazing how beautiful something that is broken can be.In the afternoon we got a bit carried away and instead of having an hour by the cross had an hour and then some… One day one of us will wear a watch.  As part of the reflection we used words that described what Jesus went through on the cross, we then had a reading that summed up that word and painted it onto the cross.

People could then sign their name onto the cross if they wanted to, as a simple of our part in Christ going to the cross.

 On Easter Sunday we had a ton of stuff going on, but carrying on from Friday we had another painted cross but this time with words that remembered what Christ achieved for us. 

I found painting the murals one of the most moving things of the whole Easter weekend.  I’ll write a more personal reflection of what went on when I get a spare moment.

Moving In

Well I made it and am now in my new house.  Moving is meant to be the most stressful thing you do in life, overall it’s not been too bad.  This week has had many ups and downs.  It’s so quiet, I’d forgotten how much noise I had gotten use to, now it’s gone, I kinda miss it.  The quietness makes it easier to feel lonely.  It was my birthday this week and someone sent me a huge bunch of roses.  They have made me beam all week.  Everytime I’ve seen them I’ve smiled.  I don’t get flowers often (well never) so they are very special.  Even when I’ve come home and cried because things have been hard or just a bit too much, they have made me smile again.  Thank you to the person who sent them, you know who you are.  I hope I can show how much I care about you one day soon.